Why absolutely nobody should shop at Wish this Black Friday

My friends and I have a fun game we like to play, which we call WTF Wish. The F stands for frick, obviously.

Hearkening back to the heyday of rogue, random sellers on Amazon, Wish is the wild west of e-commerce these days, giving us some top-notch randomness delivered straight to our social media news feeds.

Its marketing strategy works, too – at least, in terms of the fact that I almost always stop to see what strange knicknacks I’m being recommended this time – a vast majority of which are either so explicit or just plain gross that I just couldn’t bear to share them through our site.

So, I thought it would be fun to check out some of the insanely low-price and popular items on Wish this Black Friday – which would be made even cheaper by the Wish Black Friday voucher code, offering up to 80% off.

On a serious note, while most of the products are just good to poke fun at, we’d advise against purchasing tech items from Wish – especially as the French government has “found a large proportion of products it examined on the Wish site to be dangerous.”

Oh, and also, we’ll be using the full listing names from the site. It’s part of the experience.

Popular Wish deals

Hot 3D Simulation Food Pillow Plush Toy Soft Funny Ham Intestine/ Chicken Legs/Grilled Fish Cushion Creative Christmas Toy Gift: £3.79 at Wish

There’s not much more to say really. It’s an uncomfortably realistic-looking chicken wing pillow.

6/12/20/30/40/50Pcs Abs Trainer Replacement Gel Sheet Abdominal Muscle Hydrogel Pad Exercise Machine Patch For Abs Trainer: £1.65 at Wish

Want the abs but without having to put in as much effort? These totally legitimate Abs Trainer Replacement Gel Abdominal Muscle Hydrogel Pad Excercise Machine Patch for Abs Trainer will do the trick every time.

3 In 1 USB Multi-function HD Mini Digital Led Visual Ear Spoon Otoscope Camera Ear Wax Removal Endoscope Kits – £6 at Wish

I cannot stress how much you should not try this at home. Also, ew.

20X Magnifier Magnifying Eye Glasses Loupe Lens Jeweler Watch Repair LED Light – £3.71 at Wish

We can’t imagine these do much beyond hurting your eyes, giving you a headache and making you look a lot like Mole from Disney’s Atlantis. Which could be what you’re going for, I guess.

Nicolas Cage In A Banana – Original Yell bvdSoft Decorative Throw Pillow Cover for Home 45cmX45cm(18inchX18inch) Pillows NOT Included – £3 at Wish

Honestly, we could do a whole article about the sheer volume of Nic Cage-related content. A few years ago, when that was a fresh meme, it might have even made us chuckle. Now we’re just a little sad. Instead, try one of our best-ranked pillows – which come with pillows included.

Creepy Cry Baby Full Head Face Latex Rubber Masquerade Costume Mask – £0.77 at Wish

They say a picture says a thousand words, but this one just says one: “Help.” We like that it kind of looks like the model balling up for a fight – though that could be with the mask that is slowly taking over their brain. Cursed.

Cute Cartoon Animal Hard Enamel Pin Lapel Pins – £1.75 from Wish

Don’t let the name fool you, this is exactly what you think it is: sexy Magikarp. I’ll take 50.

We could go on for hours with the curse items we found on here, but you’re getting the gist of it by now, we’re sure.

If you want some genuinely good Black Friday deals while they’re still around, we’re still covering the best of the best. Just not from Wish.